first we had sharktopus, now this? where do they get the funding for this crap?

cinematic geniuses the asylum have brought you the much-anticipated sequel to james cameron’s titanic, called… wait for it… titanic II. and what do you know? tragedy strikes again!

“on the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened titanic 2, follows the path of its namesake. but when a tsunami hurls an ice berg into the new ship’s path, the passengers and crew must fight to avoid a similar fate.”

“it looks like history is repeating itself.” yes, that’s an actual line from the movie. the magnificent script-writing and directing was helmed by dick van dyke’s son, shane. you know, this is just a weird situation all around.

the straight-to-DVD- flick will hit shelves on august 24th. the question lingers: will they even make enough sales to break even?

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i mean, SO FUNNY. joshua jackson, aka pacey witter from dawson’s creek, took to the streets of san diego to launch the event of the century, pacey-con. armed with a megaphone, flyers and a “pacey-con” banner, jackson strolled through the enormous comic-con crowds to film this hilarious vid for funny or die.

dubbed the event “for all things pacey,” jackson graced the crowd with some dramatic script readings from the 90′s hit show. “i do pacey-con because pacey witter is the greatest character in television history,” he says, “ever. period.” this of course being said with creek theme song i don’t wanna wait playing in the background!

jackson was also there to sit on the comic-con panel for his latest role in the show fringe. “people ask me all the time why i’m working on this show, fringe, and the honest answer is i’m only doing it to fund my first love, which is pacey fan fiction.”

such a committed actor! pacey, you’ll always be in our hearts.

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i know what you’re asking yourself – is this real? did someone really think this would be a good investment of their time/money? the answer is YES!!

a genetically-engineered half-shark, half-octopus is on the loose! and obviously, has a thirst for human blood. set to air on the sy fy channel later this year, sharktopus is already the new best worst movie EVER. huffington post writes:

“despite the movie’s comically-careless cinematography and special effects, and the painfully-cheesy alt-rock sharktopus theme song, we predict that the internet will love this movie with all its internet heart.”

i’m smellin’ a cult hit. oh and did you notice someone familiar in there? yeah, that’s actor eric roberts of the dark knight. interesting career move!

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if i were famous, i would do stuff like this ALL the time. catching people off guard is the best! check it out – funny or die, will ferrell’s brainchild, had the brills idea of sending an undercover jewel to sing karaoke at a hole-in-the-wall bar!

donning a sly disguise, jewel/”karen” is coaxed by her co-workers (actors) to get her booty up on stage. she starts belting out songs by jewel much to the crowd’s delight! the reaction is pretty priceless: “she sounds better than jewel!”

this viral video just might become a tv series! similar in plot to CBS’ reality show, i get that a lot, there’s quite a market for this candid camera-esque format.  the funny or die boys are said to be pitching the show to network execs this week. the jewel vid got 2.5 million views in only 3 days! definitely has some potential. would YOU watch undercover karaoke?

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unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve seen the hilariously adorable charlie bit my finger youtube vid. those two cuties have run up over 198 million views!

but what happens when charlie grows up? late-nighter jimmy kimmel and guest adrien brody have given us the answer!! brody, on his promotional round for new movie splice, joined forces with kimmel to act out a movie adaptation of the viral video.

“gimme yo finga!” love it.

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another retailer promoting bad body image! first we saw photoshop disasters at ralph lauren and ann taylor. now urban outfitters is joining the party!

take a look at their newest t-shirt – proclaiming “eat less!” the website description reads:

“eat less or more or however much you’d like in this seriously soft knit tee cut long and topped with a v-neck.”

i mean, we’re not STUPID! even if it is just a t-shirt, it obviously isn’t doing much for promoting healthy body image.

what do you think? worth the concern or no big deal?



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1. a big f’ing deal!

this is probably the best thing i’ve ever seen. you MUST watch. and then, grab a mirror and repeat word-for-word!

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famous people, listen up! if you got a mic attached to you, rest assured it will pick up noise. even whispers!

so, the healthcare reform passed. as vice president joe biden was introducing our President, he let a big ‘ole f-bomb slip! so hysterical. on live television, vp biden turned to the prez and said “this is a big f—-ing deal!”

and now you can get your very own “big f—ing deal” (bfd) t-shirt!! where do you find this fashion must-have? on barackobama.com, of course. the “bfd” t-shirt can be yours for only $25. the site explains:

there are things that are a big deal – birthdays, anniversaries, the superbowl. and then there are things that are a “bfd”, like delivering health insurance to 32 million Americans.

we worked hard together to make health reform a reality, and now you can celebrate this historic victory with this shirt. this shirt is super-soft, fine jersey cotton, union-printed, and made in the USA.”

so funny. will you be ordering one? check out the video of infamous biden’s slip-up below!

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robert pattinson is… bothered! the vampire was portrayed hilariously by jimmy fallon on his late night show – and shared exactly why valentine’s day “bothers” him. flowers, candy, the shapes of hearts… it’s all part of pattinson’s party pooper rant. check it out above.

alright, here’s my plea. robbie boy is set to appear on jimmy’s show on march 1st to promote his latest flick, ‘remember me.’ (which, actually looks pretty interesting.) i hope jimmy can convince robert to help him spoof the “bothered” segment. make it happen!

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no, she won’t go away. especially not now! shamed new york governor eliot spitzer had a little run-around with call girl ashley dupre. and now the little lady thinks she’s got wisdom to share.

when the press uncovered tiger woods’ 14 (gasp!) mistresses, dupre opened her mouth with “advice” for the young women caught up in the scandal. well it appears that the new york post was listening, because they gone and hired her as an advice columnist! for reals. check out this extremely painful-to-watch promo video for her new gig.

ask her ANYthing, she says. she’ll be the inspiration for home-wreckers, mistresses, and hookers everywhere!

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