first we had sharktopus, now this? where do they get the funding for this crap?

cinematic geniuses the asylum have brought you the much-anticipated sequel to james cameron’s titanic, called… wait for it… titanic II. and what do you know? tragedy strikes again!

“on the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened titanic 2, follows the path of its namesake. but when a tsunami hurls an ice berg into the new ship’s path, the passengers and crew must fight to avoid a similar fate.”

“it looks like history is repeating itself.” yes, that’s an actual line from the movie. the magnificent script-writing and directing was helmed by dick van dyke’s son, shane. you know, this is just a weird situation all around.

the straight-to-DVD- flick will hit shelves on august 24th. the question lingers: will they even make enough sales to break even?

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i know what you’re asking yourself – is this real? did someone really think this would be a good investment of their time/money? the answer is YES!!

a genetically-engineered half-shark, half-octopus is on the loose! and obviously, has a thirst for human blood. set to air on the sy fy channel later this year, sharktopus is already the new best worst movie EVER. huffington post writes:

“despite the movie’s comically-careless cinematography and special effects, and the painfully-cheesy alt-rock sharktopus theme song, we predict that the internet will love this movie with all its internet heart.”

i’m smellin’ a cult hit. oh and did you notice someone familiar in there? yeah, that’s actor eric roberts of the dark knight. interesting career move!

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tuning in for the mtv movie awards this weekend? they’re certainly working overtime to promote this puppy! the mtv movie awards are set to go live this sunday, june 6th at 9pm.

hosted by funnyman aziz ansari, we’re promised on heckuva time:

“there will indeed be lights, cameras and lots of action. you don’t want to miss the most talked about jaw dropping moments you know you will be discussing at the water cooler and you won’t be talking about if Best Male Performance hopeful Zac Efron parted his hair to the right or the left. there will be BIG moments people.”

check out some hilarious promo vids with tom cruise’s alter-ego, les grossman.

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life imitates art? on-and-off-again couple drew barrymore and justin long are takin’ their romance to this big screen in this romantic comedy, going the distance, set to premiere on august 27th.

the distance makes light of everyone’s favorite pickle: long-distance relationships and just how “fun” they are for all who are involved. the two lovebirds start off as nothin’ serious, but then realize how into each other they are once drews’s character moves far, far away from her lover love. and then hilarity ensues. check out the trailer above. interested?

and lookie here! sounds like this one has a happy ending: “but despite the opposite coasts, the nay-saying friends and family, and a few unexpected temptations, the couple just might have found something like love, and with the help of a lot of texting, sexting and late-night phone calls, they might actually go the distance.”

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katherine heigl. ashton kutcher. already this movie is sounding good – and lookin’ good! barreling off of box office hits like the ugly truth and what happens in vegas, it was the perfect moment to seize.

these two are veterans of the romantic comedy genre! their latest, killers, boasts a pretty hysterical trailer (see above) and an entertaining synopsis:

trying to recover from a sudden break-up, jen (heigl) believes she’ll never fall in love again. but when she reluctantly joins her parents on a trip to the french riviera, jen happens to meet the man of her dreams, spencer (kutcher).

three years later, her seemingly impossible wish has come true: she and spencer are newlyweds living the ideal suburban life – that is, until the morning after spencer’s 30th birthday when bullets start flying. literally.

yes, it’s dumb. but i’m sure it will be funny! killers is set to release june 4th – kickin’ off a long list of summer blockbusters including iron man 2, shrek forever after, sex and the city 2, the twilight saga: eclipse and little fockers. seeing a trend from that list? all sequels!

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it’s been confirmed: anchorman 2 is a “go!” both will ferrell & david koechner have gone public with their desire to don plaid suits and take to the cameras again.

i mean, it would be a travesty not to! these guys are pretty phenom together. but here’s a disclaimer from ferrell himself – the sequel won’t be anywhere near as good as the original!

“we don’t think we can make it as good. it would be really fun to do, so we might just try to make the craziest sequel you’ve ever seen. it could be terrible, but if they’re going to pay us to do it, then why not, right?”

agreed! do it! since anchorman‘s release in 2004, the cast has gone on to even more popular projects. which might make getting the gang back together a little harder. ferrell has his concerns, but koechner assures us that it won’t be a problem… they’ve got the same manager, so it’s just a matter of time that they’ll be back in the game! in the meantime, enjoy one of my (many) favorite anchorman scenes below.

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fiiiiiiinally! the new film in the shrek franchise has hit the internet. dubbed shrek forever after, the film is the 4th and last in the series. the first and second, AMAZING. the third was pure rubbish. hopefully we got a good one in the fourth?

this time, we see shrek as a tired family man who is growing weary of the responsibilities of kids & daipers. no one in town is scared of him anymore, and he longs to feel like a “real ogre” again. enter the evil rumpelstiltskin, the villain of the flick! (there’s gotta be one, right?)

rumpel strikes a mysterious deal with shrek, which transports him back to his old life just for one day. things aren’t as great as they seem, as shrek sees that his beloved wife fiona and best friends don’t even recognize him. my favorite part? puss in boots is now a fat cat! the film opens in theaters may 21st.

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ahhh, the red carpet. this year, i had so much to say that i even live-blogged it. i gotta a lot of opinions… apparently.

the ladies above had me over the moon in awe. kate beckinsale – i dunno, maybe it’s just her rockin’ bod – but she looked incredible in this kaufman franco gown. and playing up her curves big time was j.lo in this little number by giorgio armani prive.

another favorite was glee star lea michele in oscar de la renta. she got it right at the globes too! however, maybe it’s time to go for some color? she’s a fan of black.

penelope cruz chose the gorgeous red ensemble by donna karan. as far as i’m concerned, she can do no wrong. and wrapping out my fave top 5 is rachel mcadams… holy beautiful! she rocked this watercolor elie saab gown. pure perfection.

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and now for the worst. i almost gagged looking at a few of these. sarah jessica parker leads the pack with this beyond fugly canary-yellow dress by chanel. what’s with the darn neck scarf? and i’m hating the shapelessness. nicole richie was arm candy to fiance joel madden, who DJ’ed the event. unforch, she got it oh-so-wrong in this elvira-esque reen acra dress. stripes at the oscars? i don’t think so.

and charlize. ohhhh charlize what the HECK were you thinking?? the lavender boob-cupping is not flattering. this is one time dior couture was not a good look for her. definitely my “worst dressed” for the evening! now, diane kruger wasn’t quite so bad. i actually would’ve liked her chanel choice had it not been interrupted mid-way by those ruffles. close, but no cigar.

zoe saldana’s gown had the makings of a gorgeous dress… great fit, inventive, sparkly and purple. until the camera panned down to the bottom. what the balls? (literally) this givenchy gown was stirrin’ up quite the controversy. she looks like a paper mache project! and my favorite, as one reporter put it, “how do you say UGLY in na’vi?”

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and for good measure, i threw in two gentlemen that got it right. first we have my celeb crush ryan reynolds in a classic tom ford tux. you can never go wrong with a good-fitting suit! i have to hand it to robert downey jr. for being inventive here. while i don’t love the blue sunglasses, i am a hug fan of the blue bow tie. his lanvin tuxedo even coordinated well with his wife’s! now, that’s cute.

alright, so what are you thinkin’? agree or disagree on my best/worsts?

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don’t get me wrong, i’m a huge julia roberts fan. but come on, is she made of gold?

if you ventured out into the theaters this weekend to indulge in the celebrity love fest that is ‘valentine’s day,’ you might’ve caught a glimpse of the actress. judging from the trailer, we would’ve thought julia was a prime player. but as it turns out, she’s only in the film for roughly 6 minutes!

but that’s not the ridiculous part. for her part in the lovey-dovey flick, america’s sweetheart was paid $3 MILLION! that’s about $500,000 a minute. for that kinda cash, those better be the best 6 minutes of our lives!!

apparently roberts agreed to the part as a favor to director garry marshall. after casting her, it was much easier to get stars like jessica biel, ashton kutcher and anne hathaway on board. i guess only the box office can tell if julia was worth that paycheck… we’ll find out soon!

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